Bed Time Stories For Big Kids

I found these when I was going through some papers and thought some of you would like them.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill,
Now they have a son.

Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept up beside her,
But little Boy Blue and his horn.

Simple Simon met a Pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
"What have you got there?"
"Pies, you idiot!"

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men,
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.

Hey Diddle Diddle the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun,
Then died of electric shock.

There once was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad.......
She got a fur coat, jewels, a water front condo, and a sports car.

There I've said my piece. Enjoy!